Flickr photo by Nicolas Raymond
Flickr photo by Nicolas Raymond

We’ve all felt it. That sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs that convinces us we’re dirt and are sorry excuses for human beings. Of course, I’m talking about being on the receiving end of a break up rejection. Not wanting to pay that forward, how do we delicately end things with a date when the tables are turned?

When I started online dating, I was a serial first-dater.  I was quick to set up in-person meet ups over coffee or lunch.  Since I clearly knew what I was looking for, I rarely saw anyone for a second date. I didn’t want to just ignore the person or give a series of excuses hoping they would “get the idea.” That’s immature.  So I spent hours scavenging the internet until I finally found an acceptable way to let these guys know I wasn’t going to date them anymore.

This script is best used for people you’ve just started dating, someone whom you’ve met up with less than four times. What I love about it is that it makes the other person feel good and softens the possible rejection blow they might feel. It’s also quick and easy, saving you both any drawn out agony.

How to Successfully Break Up with Someone in 5 Minutes:

1. Begin by showing your appreciation or praise. “Hey, Joe! It was great to meet you the other day.”

2. Make it very clear how you feel, leaving no room for misinterpretation. Still keep it positive. “I really enjoyed spending time with you. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re a great romantic match for each other.”

3. Reiterate your appreciation and if you’d genuinely like to stay friends, let him know. “I’d love it if we could be friends, but I’ll understand if you can’t.”

4. Close with more praise or well wishes. “I wish you all the best in your search for someone to share your life with.”

The key to this script working are the words “romantic match.” While disappointing, it doesn’t leave the person on the receiving end feeling like there’s something inherently wrong with them or that they did something wrong – both possible if you decide to go M.I.A. It also leaves no room for misinterpretation which is likely to happen if you only gave a series of excuses in the hope of driving them away.

I would not recommend using this on someone you’re in a relationship with. If you’ve been dating anyone for a while, it’ll be hard to accept that you don’t think they’re a great romantic match. For advice on how to end a long-term relationship, check out this post.

You can use this script in-person or over email; don’t feel obligated to have a face-to-face with someone you’ve known less than a month.

Is this effective? Share your thoughts on The Break-Up Script below!

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