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Let’s play a game.

For the next thirty seconds, I want you to examine your surroundings and make a note of everything brown that you see.

You did it? Good.

Now, close your eyes… and list all the green things that you saw.

I bet you couldn’t list as many green items as you could that are brown. Why? Because you weren’t looking for them!

How many of us complain to our girlfriends all the time that there aren’t any good single men out there? We’ll be sitting at brunch on Sunday, on our fourth bellini singing that same broken record of: married, gay or douche.

Well, with that frame of mind, what else would you find? If you keep looking for the gay, married douche bags how on earth are you going to notice your ideal guy when he’s standing right in front of you? You won’t and my guess is you probably haven’t for a while.

But you can change that. Right now.

Shift Your Mind: The Ideal Man Exercise

Get a piece of paper or open up a blank word processing document on your computer. Describe in detail what your idea man in. What does he look like? What color is his hair, his eyes? How tall is he? What cologne does he wear? What books does he read? What are his favorite sports teams? How does he smile? Does he have an accent when he talks and what is it?

Are you getting the idea? We want as vivid an image of him as possible!

Now close your eyes and picture the two of you together. You’re holding hands, looking into each other’s eyes. How do you feel about him? How does he feel about you? Etch this vision and feeling into your brain.

The next time you go out, visualize him and expect to meet him.

I’m not kidding.

The next time you’re outside, you need to fully expect that you’ll find him.

This experiment is based off of the famous “Quarters” exercise by Robert Anton Wilson from his book, Prometheus Rising. It’s  supposed to make you look at the world in a different way. In a nutshell, the quarters exercise asks you to visualize a quarter in as much detail as possible (color, texture, shape, size, etc.) and then go out and look for it everywhere all the while visualizing it.

Can I tell you a secret?

When I was a kid, I had a vivid imagination. Like most girls, I dreamed of a Prince Charming all the time (sad, I know). I had a big crush on Chris O’Donnell, especially the way he looked when he acted in Batman & Robin (I was also a huge fan of Batman, fyi). So I spent A LOT of time visualizing my Ideal Man as a tall, lean, muscular guys with medium-brown hair and brown eyes (I really wanted light eyes but I thought that was asking too much!) and all the other details that I don’t need to get into.

Well, it turns out that most of the guys I ended up giving my heart to were guys who fit that description!

Bottom line: you find what you’re looking for.


This week’s series of posts provide a solid formula to find, meet and attract the guy of your dreams. Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

1)      Visualize your Ideal Man following the instructions above

2)      Look for him in optimal locations

3)      Attract him without saying a word

Report back by commenting below or shooting me an email at

What have you got to lose?

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