For Kicks and Giggles: Maggie’s Stinky Footprints at ADNY

Because while crazy ex-wives may like to lie, data does not.  Especially IP addresses.

What is an IP address?

Glad you asked! Why it’s a unique string of numbers that links your computer to all of your online activity.  It’s your computer’s return address. It’s your fingerprint on the internet.

And Maggie’s IP address has been linked to my website 156 times since March 7, 2016.

Yes, that’s right.  For at least the last 15 months, this woman has been stalking my website.  Let’s take a look at what Maggie likes to read here.

Maggie’s Profile and Viewing History

Maggie: 39-year old Caucasion, divorced, mother of two girls under the age of 10.  Upper West Side stay-at-home mom who complains about having to be a stay-at-home mom (so many vacation days, ugh!). Prone to addictions (food, alcohol, attention, competition, social media…you name it!).

Big fan of my blog.  Right up there with Bobby.  She’s even signed up to my feed:

I’m flattered! If these cheeks could blush…

She’s obsessed with anything and everything I have to say about Bobby:

You’re right! Bobby IS my Mr. Right! Thanks for the feedback, I’ll update the post immediately.

And, of course, our wedding plans:

P.S. Sorry for the error message on “Cabin in the Woods.” Bobby and I are working on an update. Don’t worry, Maggie, we got you!

She won’t miss a post for anything…

Maggie clearly had nothing better to do on Valentine’s Day

And I think she’s even reading for the advice!

Did you enjoy my singing?

I can’t even feel bad about posting her activity here because she was warned. Twice. Since January. And here’s proof:

I think she needed to memorize it.

Maggie is so pathetically addicted to my posts than when I go silent, she resorts to my Facebook page, desperate for updates:

Maggie, thank you so much.  It was delicious smoking you out. But in all seriousness, you need help.  Your addiction to social media and obsession with me, Bobby and our lives, is embarrassing.  I am constantly embarrassed for you.

Please stop.  Or don’t because I really enjoyed writing this. Chomping at the bit for the sequel!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.