I love Bobby. But when it comes to selecting an engagement ring, the man has me worried.
Remember his shabby ex-wife who pretends she’s still married to him? She maintains the farce partly by lollygagging around wearing the engagement ring she got to keep after the divorce.
Disrespectful? Yes, but that’s to be expected from a woman with no integrity.
However, the most nauseating thing about the ring is how repulsive it is. It’s a large, high quality stone. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is that the rock is thrown into a bare bone setting that one has to assume is platinum. But the metal is so dark, it seems like it rolled around the ocean floor for a millennium, got sucked into an oil rig that in turn was swallowed by a blue whale and finally came out the other end.
I was so confused the first time I saw this ring. I had to ask Bobby, “What were you both smoking?”
The engagement ring that Maggie still wears is ostentatious. What this ring says is Bobby met his minimum requirements in that relationship by buying a big rock. But the fact that he slapped it on a thoughtless setting-and she accepted it and still wears it-clarifies that everything about their relationship was meant to be a show.
If he had loved her, the setting would reflect it. Some attempt at detail or originality would have been made. But that was never what she was to him. Instead he went with simple, bland, butch.
And you know Maggie’s dissatisfied with the ring because she tries to compensate for its homely features with delicate counterparts.
That’s when I have to stop giving Bobby a hard time about his selection because with Maggie’s Frankenstein hands, he didn’t have much room to work with. Delicate jewelry gets lost and devoured on her mannish fingers. She tries to compensate for that, too, by splattering paint on them but that just makes it worse. It’s like being at a horror film where you close your eyes but still peek because you’re inexplicably drawn to the freakishness.
Don’t Neglect the Setting
I know swimming against the current is hard. In New York, it’s social suicide if you get engaged without a 2-carat ring.
But I’ve talked about the consequences of financial constraints on marriage here. If your relationship with your partner matters more than materialistic gain or social standing, get a smaller rock and pay attention to the setting.
Brick and mortar diamond stores may not be your best bet if you’re looking to get married under $5,000. And yes, that estimate includes the engagement ring.
Here are some places online that may be better options:
James Allen – I can’t remember where I saw it, but he used to respond to the boards with links to current loose diamonds on sale within your price range.
Brilliant Earth – Conflict-free diamonds are the only way to go. Plus, they’ve got a comprehensive selection of other stones like sapphires that, arguably, are more attractive than diamonds.
Bobby has been given guidance for my engagement ring with this Pinterest board. But the fact of the matter is, I’ve been married before. I had a spectacular engagement ring that I gave back with the divorce. To celebrate my independence, I bought myself a whole bunch of freedom rings.
So, I’m good on diamonds. Plus, there isn’t any one ring that I’ve fallen in love with, that haunts me, or that I can’t stop thinking about.
Really, it would be more meaningful to me if Bobby tied an actual string around my finger.
Or we got tattoos.
Also, ladies, engagement rings aren’t just for us anymore. Why are we the only ones that get marked as territory? Mangagement rings are a thing.
This one is Bobby’s: