Flickr Photo by Hubert Figuiere
Flickr Photo by Hubert Figuiere

Independence Day is next week so it’s a good time to ask: what does freedom mean to you?

For this post, it means the freedom to have dating options, liberation from neediness or desperation, and greater bargaining power.

Don’t Stay Hungry

I love brownies. I wish I could eat them all the time. If you had 20 brownies and I asked for one, I’m sure you’d gladly give it to me. What if I wanted two brownies? Or three? 20 brownies are a lot for anyone to eat so most likely you wouldn’t have trouble granting my wish. You’ve still got plenty left.

But what if you dropped 19 brownies on your filthy kitchen floor? How would you feel giving me the one brownie you have left? How have your feelings changed?

The more choices we have, the freer we feel. Our sense of freedom guides our behavior. So in the case of the brownies, it reflects how generous or tight-wad we might be. In general, it affects how abundance-conscious or scarcity-conscious we’ll feel.

The 3-Man Plan

It’s just as crucial to have options when dating. Ideally, you should date three men at a time but no less than two. It keeps you from wasting time on something that isn’t working out, saving you from desperation or neediness without letting your dance card get too out of hand (yes, I said dance card).

Think about it. If you were applying for a new job and only got one offer, how much room do you have to negotiate for a higher salary? Not much. But what if you had three job offers? Your room to negotiate has increased substantially because if one fails, you’ve got two more options to potentially meet your needs.

Also, dating requires practice. The more men you date, the better you’ll understand them and figure out what truly matters to you in a relationship. That’s money right there.

Third, it helps reduce the blow of rejection. You won’t be worrying about one guy who was “too busy” to meet up this week because you’re running late for your date with someone else!

Finally, it’s fun! I know I say this all the time but for someone who didn’t date for several years, I can say that I really enjoyed having my calendar so booked that it challenged my excellent organization skills. Plus, I got to eat and drink my way through two great cities for at least half the cost if I had done it solo!


Don’t settle for less than what you’re looking for. Date three men at a time to keep yourself free of desperation and your dating life full of options while you search for Mr. Right. In the meantime, enjoy life with Mr. Right-Now!

What do you think about dating three guys at a time? Exciting or overwhelming? Share your thoughts below!

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