Okay, time to get serious. What happens if nothing goes according to plan? Instead of flying off into happily ever after on a magic carpet ride, the sultan and sultana decided to make life miserable for the repressed princess and rebellious street rat.
Oh, Genie, where art thou?
All jokes aside, this is a real challenge to face. If the burden is yours alone to bear, then it’s no wonder that you’d be too terrified to even start the process! I wouldn’t recommend taking the first step to anyone without having a support system in place. Gather your best friends and any family who will have your back. Let them know what’s going on, what your plans are and what you’ll need from them to help make this happen.
Specifically, you’re going to need:
- Encouragement. You’ll need a team who can exude positivity and optimism in your moments of self-doubt, and there will be many. Anyone who tries to discourage you from telling your parents about your boyfriend or girlfriend is no friend of yours. Find the people who are as courageous as you want to be.
- An open door. If you’re living at home with your parents, you risk dealing with high-stress for a prolonged period of time if things don’t go well with your folks. For your physical and emotional well-being, you will need to get away from your folks for a little while and you’ll need friends and family who will open their homes to you. Put aside your concerns regarding how your parents will react. It doesn’t have to be a permanent situation but even a temporary escape from the house and the fights will do you a world of good. Exercise a healthy level of selfishness and focus on taking care of yourself for a little while.
- Be good to yourself. Taking care also means allowing yourself to indulge a little bit. Make it a priority to engage in your hobbies more, travel or relax at a spa. It will help you de-stress and be crucial distractions so your sub-conscious can find solutions that you’re desperately seeking.
- Non-defensive communication. This will help you control how far the fights at home escalate. Find out more about non-defensive communication here.
No matter what, stand your ground. Politely but firmly let your folks know that you have made your choices and they aren’t going to change. Remember: telling your parents about your sweetheart is for you, not for them. It’s about being honest about who you are to yourself first, then sharing who you are with your parents. Whether they accept you with open arms or make you miserable, you’ve got the tools to reach your goals regardless of how they react.
Good news: most people, including your folks, want to be liked. It’s really just a matter of when, not if, they will come around. So hang in there!
And don’t forget: you’re amazing!
This is the sixth and final post of my tutorial on meeting the desi parents.
Check out the full series here.
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