Flickr Photo by Foeock
Flickr Photo by Foeock

How many of you make the mistake of going to a bar to meet men?

You spend hours doing your hair, pop into your stilettos, grab your best gang of gal pals and cab over to the hippest new lounge that has a line wrapping around the block with a wait time of over an hour to get in.

But then it gets worse.

When you finally do get in, the place is crammed with people, the drinks are too expensive and they’re playing techno music like you’re in Seaside Heights. You shift your weight from one foot to the other because those heels haven’t been broken in and let’s face it: you never really did learn to walk in four inches, did you?

A few guys approach your group, but from their tomato-red faces, napalm breaths and rude behavior, your hopes and dreams of finding Prince Charming are dashed. Before the clock strikes ten, you’re already over it and wishing your fluffy bed were five minutes away to melt into.

But you know what?

I totally feel for you. I’ve done my homework and have found some great ideas that work.

The next time your soul summons you to find its missing half, give these principles a try:

3 Principles for Choosing Ideal Places to Find Quality Men:

1.       The venue is conversation-friendly.

Pretty obvious, right?

Men are extremely visual (duh!) so a loud bar could work because the men can still see you. But since the game is all about him pursuing you and you evaluating him, how are you going to be able to flirt if you can’t hear each other?

So when deciding on a location ask yourself: can you carry a conversation there without going home with a sore throat and ringing ears?

Think bookstores and coffee shops.  Pass on bars and lounges unless they have quieter patios or rooftops.


2.       A common connection.

Let your hobbies and passions guide here. Are you up with the sun for a daily jog, drink wine like it’s water or do you secretly spend your Saturdays dressing up like Wonder Woman? Marathons, vineyard tours, cooking classes and conferences are what I’m talking about here.

The more specific the affiliation and the greater effort people have made to show up, the stronger the connection will be making interaction a snap.

ComiCon? Great idea! Local bar for a sports game? Too weak of a connection to sustain anything but a short-lived exchange.


3.       The scene allows for continuity.

What the hell does that mean?

Let’s take it back to Physics 101: an object in motion tends to stay in motion.  You wouldn’t flirt with a hot guy walking on the sidewalk or jogging in the park because he’s in motion and the connection would be fleeting. Look for them at events where people are expected to chill for a while.

Also, think repetition. Places that you frequent often, coming across the same faces time and again are great for meeting guys. Do office romances ring a bell? This is why! Think gyms, houses of worship or organizations you volunteer at.


The importance of where you meet a guy is considerably underrated.  The conditions in which you first meet someone will greatly determine the final destination of that relationship.

Don’t take my word for it.

Test the 3 principles above and let the results speak for themselves.

Remember: this advice is worthless if you don’t use it. So get out there and do something!

You know I preach the truth, yallz. Don’t make me come after you in my Louboutins .


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