How do you know when you’re ready to move on?
I’ve been divorced for over a year now. I’m glad I had the time to myself to heal, adjust and assess. But I have to admit, I’ve also really enjoyed being on my own.
Perhaps it’s because I have spent the majority of my adult life as a single woman; it’s my comfort zone. But is it possible to become too comfortable being single?
I honestly don’t think so. I don’t believe everyone needs to get married or have kids to live a fulfilled life. But while this list was written mostly in jest, even I have to pause and wonder: have I waited too long?
Not all of these are problematic but here’s what might happen:
#1: You enjoy being alone.
You’ve seized your freedom and wonder why you ever bothered to share your life with someone else. You don’t get anxiety at the thought of going to dinner by yourself or RSVPing for one to a wedding. In fact, you enjoy dating yourself because you’re finally getting treated to a good time!
#2: You lose incentive to change.
You get set in your ways. Compromise is not something you have to do anymore. I know when the garbage needs to go out (determined by smell not days on the calendar) and when and how the floors need to be cleaned. When it comes to managing the household, I get my way all the time. Sure, it would be nice to have someone to help out. But if that means coming home one day and finding that my entire kitchen has been rearranged without being consulted, we are going to have problems.
But single? No problem!
#3: You’re finally comfortable wearing no makeup.
I’m acutely aware of how infrequent my Sephora needs have become. Basically, you stop caring about making an effort. For me, I’ll still get dressed and do my hair and makeup for myself but the need is rare. I am absolutely okay with the fact that I may be repelling men.
#4: You are convinced that meeting people is pointless.
What a waste of time, energy and money. Why, so I can lose hours of my time listening to some guy market himself? Priya, here’s why I’m awesome! Date me! By the way, I think you’re interesting even though I haven’t bothered to ask you anything about yourself.
Or worse, listen to them gripe about how much they hate their jobs or interview me with the clear intent that they are searching for flaws I might share with their ex.
#5: You’re completely over your ex.
The idea of your ex being with someone else fills you with a sense of relief and you can genuinely feel happy for him or her. You feel no urge to engage with your ex through any form of communication available on this planet. You can recall all the frustrations and flaws and view them as a learning experience. You can remember fond memories of the two of you together and not get emotional about it. Instead of being in the tail ends of getting over your ex, you overcame that mountain a while ago and it is in your rearview mirror.
#6: You recognize that you don’t need anyone in your life.
You bought those rubber sheets from Bed Bath and Beyond that can open jars. You have a toolbox and a step ladder. You have a mechanic you can trust. You can take care of yourself just fine.
#7: You never want to share your bathroom or bed with anyone else again.
This is my favorite part about being single!
Say what you want about the royals, they knew what they were doing by giving the king and queen their separate chambers. Visitations to produce an heir only.
Otherwise, you best believe the queen was enjoying her immaculate bathroom and the freedom to sleep diagonally or in a starfish pattern.
So am I.
#8: You’ve considered donating your eggs to a needy couple or becoming a surrogate mother.
Why do you need them anymore? And wow, what an easy way to make money!
#9: Weddings make you feel numb.
There’s a mild sense of happiness for your friends mixed with a healthy dose of concern that they have the skills to make it work that ultimately morphs into indifference. Maybe they work out, maybe they don’t. It doesn’t matter; we’ll all turn out alright.
#10: The majority of your meals are frozen or microwaveable and you think it’s great.
I’ve got better things to do with my time and money than cook, like work on this blog
#11: Human contact bothers you.
I don’t mind being around humans, generally, except if they are impeding my daily commute. But I certainly am not in the mood to be making conversation. Stop asking me what I do for a living. Why can’t you be a cat?
#12: You look forward to spending your downtime watching Netflix marathons of your favorite TV shows.
I’m behind on Downtown Abbey and New Girl by at least one season each. That’s a travesty.
#13: It’s just you and the dog and you’re perfectly content with that.
My dog will always be less drama than a man. Except he’s severely infringing on my bedtime starfish formation.
Does this list hit home for you? If so, how does that make you feel?